APATHY presents as a compelling crime thriller. The tone is gritty and dark. The script offers intriguing and complex characters. The stakes are deadly. Crime thrillers are very marketable and there’s a faithful audience.
Overall, the first 30 pages hook the audience to the story.
With that said, there are areas worth discussing for possible revisions.
The opening scene with the old man and Paul sets the tone and nicely builds anticipation and suspense. It’s clear Paul is a creepy “salesman”. The audience knows that he’s manipulating and defrauding the old man, but the shooting comes as a nice surprise. There’s nice subtext in the dialogue like, ”You are a prime candidate.”
However, if length or time is a concern, the scene could begin with
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The other concern about the first 30 pages is the character of Kate. She feels very inconsistent throughout the first act. She’s resistant at first, which works well, but then she becomes weak (page 29) and gives into Paul. It’s a confusing and unflattering portrait of her.
As mentioned, Ben is an intriguing character. He’s clearly flawed and has inner conflict and it will be interesting to see how he develops. However, by this point in the script the audience should have a better understanding of Ben’s goal, not Paul’s goal. It’s Ben’s goal that should drive the story. Remember, his inner struggle should also conflict with his actionable goal.
Paul is a cold-blooded killer, who displays “apathy.” He easily manipulates others. One can feel that he can’t be trusted. He makes for a good foe.
Victor, at this point, isn’t as well understood regarding his motivation. Make sure this is revealed in the script. One assumes the “Mystery” man will also be revealed.
The dialogue is consistent with the characters, but as stated the scenes tend to rely too much on dialogue, which slows the pace and diminishes some
He also founds out from his friends that they are going to get inspected by the Kaiser before they go to Russia. Paul finds out that the Kaiser isn’t what he thought he would be, and is disappointed. Feeling like he needs to catch up with his friends and the war, he volunteers to help find and gather information about the enemy. However, when trying to go back, an attack started to happen, and he decided to hide
In the novel, Tangerine, by Edward Bloor, Paul made a choice that ultimately drove the plot. It had many major effects on himself and other characters in this novel. In part 3 of this novel Paul decides speak up for himself and it had changed the books plot.
I yelled back. ' Come On!' " This illustrates, that Paul was altruistic during this scene, which shows how much of a heroic character he is. Although he might have a slight problem with his eyes, in addition he's intimated by his brother, Erik. Paul saved many lives.
Why, one may ask, well because he is a hero. Unlike Erik, Paul rescues multiple innocent lives, and Erik just kills human
He focuses on that group of people who say nothing, the indifferent ones. This group of people are often forgotten about because they are lowkey and hidden most of the time. Being indifferent means being safe and unassuming. However, that indifference can be scary.
Throughout the story Paul shows that he cares about his comrades by protecting them from the dangers of war, and he also displays that he will guide them in war. Paul uses his skills of intelligence to guide his team in the trenches and at the front, and he passes on his knowledge and tricks of war to the new recruits. Not many soldiers have all of these qualities, which makes Paul stand out more than his comrades. Even today some men don't express the passion and leadership Paul shows in All Quiet on the Western Front, which brings up the fact that the war needs more men like Paul. To sum up, Paul is an honest and true man who will always be there for his comrades when needed, and he is a man the troops are proud to say is a patriotic
Ben doesn't want to believe that he is dying, and he is willing to do anything to live the rest of his life as normal as
On one side of the conflict, Paul is put down by pretty much everyone in his family, which is the root of all his insecurities. His brother bullies him and takes every opportunity to belittle him and put him down. His father, on the other hand, seems as though he doesn’t know that he is adding to his son’s lack of confidence. The only one that advocates on his behalf is his mother, but his goal is to get more attention from his father. On the other side of the conflict, Paul knows that he is good at one thing, Soccer.
We see this change when Paul goes from shy kid to daring hero in seconds to save his classmates “We pulled and grabbed at kids as they made their way up the slippery incline to the top.” (82). This was one of the first big dynamic change we see in Paul. As Paul is exposed to more his character grows immensely. The biggest risk we see Paul take is when his new friends decide to give Erik and Arthur what they deserve during the senior football night.
Although Paul got expelled he found some truth in himself. Also in the student's eyes, Paul was no longer a loser. This is when Paul finally feels comfortable in his own skin. Clearly, Paul’s character is affected by him jumping on the coach’s back.
The reason Paul makes this choice is because he has witnessed so many horrific things Erik has done and he couldn’t let him get away with this one, so that’s why he told the police. For example, when Paul tells this to the policeman in front of the Bauer Family and his family, both of the families are devastated at what Erik and Arthur have done. This shows that both of the families had such high expectations for the both of them and when they found this out, it just basically killed them inside. In addition, after Paul told the police, he felt like he was set free of holding in the truth to tell people about Erik. For instance, this helped Paul learn a lesson about standing up for himself and telling the truth.
This evidence tells that Paul helping two people do something wrong is a bad choice. As a result Paul gets expelled from Tangerine Middle School. In my opinion this was a really idiotic idea and Paul should never help people do something wrong ever
Throughout the book Paul becomes more confident with himself and does not care what other people thought about him. In the beginning of the book Paul was scared to move and go to a new school with no one he knew. He started to like school better by being the starting goalie and meeting some people.
Paul learns that war obtains the capability to demolish society. War destroys so many innocent people’s lives, whether it kills innocent human beings or shatters the innocence of those who fight in
The 1971 film, A Clockwork Orange, consists of many psychological concepts. Two concepts in particular seem to have the biggest impact and role throughout this film. These concepts being, classical conditioning and the idea that our environment and our experiences of nurture are what shapes us. A Clockwork Orange is the story of a group of young men who take pleasure in committing crimes and causing others to feel pain, they call themselves the “Droogs”. Alex, the group leader, suffers from Antisocial Personality Disorder, a disorder also known as “psychopath”.