Personal Narrative: How Divorce Changed My Life

Seeing my sister and mother work independently and not knowing the way life would play out quickly became my drive. I took this downfall and this sadness and I invested it into school. I needed to be the best I could be so my father would be able to open a report card mailed to him for Christmas with straight A’s. I had to work triple the amount of what I was already doing. It was this moment in life that I knew that no factor in life would hold me back from becoming educated and independent in order to be able to give back to my family.

Seeing her unhappy and unfulfilled made me determined to change the order that I make my choices in life. Don’t get me wrong, I want to have a family eventually. But instead of having a child first, like all of the women in my family before me, I want to complete my education and start my career. Family will come after. I would like to say that I figured this out on my own but my mom’s support and almost daily go-to lecture of, “I want you to be independent so you don’t have to depend on a man,” worked on me.

In my life, much has shaped me to be the person that I am today. For example, I am bullied and have been for many years. I kept it to myself and let it grow worse. Then, last year I found a teacher that I felt I could trust and told this teacher everything that had and was still happening.

Growing up in the environment I did allowed me to live without the oppression that Peekay experienced in his daily life. I have been blessed with the ability to live the childhood that many kids do not have the fortune of experiencing. The people that have surrounded me, being my parents, sister, teachers, and peers, have given me the chance to grow on my own and experience life to the fullest. From this, I have become a very self-sufficient person, other than some of the more basic guardian based needs. They have been an influence to me through their words

It was a typical chilly October Friday night on the football field under the lights with fans screaming, the hype of the game in full effect, when my life was altered and I was forced to make a decision. I was running down the field in hopes to catch the football thrown in my direction when I was hit. Everything seemed fine, until I tried to stand up. I felt excruciating pain come from my right leg, I looked down only to see the bone bulging from my right shin. I’ve always been told that no mater what you are dong adversity is going to come but it all breaks down to how you are going to respond.

Andrew, my older brother, in middle of the road he was tired to keep ride the ox for 1 month. He asked me to replace him, so he can get some sleep. But then I do not have any experience of riding ox, that cause our wagon go wrong trail. The sky was dark like almost rain, I was panic. Everyone was in poor health because digest least food.

As her oldest child, I naturally became her therapist. Coming home every day from school to her in tears or idly staring in the fetal position was overwhelming. I listened to her as she vented out loud about her dark thoughts and misery. She just sat in her bed and didn’t want to move. However no one was taking care of us, and so we switched roles and at the age of 12 I was the mom.

So I decided that I would have to put my education on hold, until I could get myself together. I thought, I can always go back to school once my family life gets back to normal. Little did I know neither one was to be in my future. My family life was dysfunctional, I finally decided to divorce my abusive husband of 17 years.

Adapting to a life changing event can be challenging at times, and that's exactly what it was like in my personal experience. I was only two years old when my parents divorced. My mother was awarded primary custody of my two older siblings and myself. We resided with her in Bolivia, which is our country of origin, and had weekly visitations with our father. Life continued as we were adapting, but even more life altering events were just around the corner.

I never really knew what adversity was. I always knew it was facing trials and difficulties in your life but I told myself I didn't have trials because mine were so small and didn't match up to the world. So when I was young I pushed my problems out of the way so they wouldn't impede with the rest of the world. Just a couple years into my childhood, my loving grandmother took me by the hand and earnestly explained to me what Adversity was to her.

Many of my experiences have molded me into a strong, hardworking humble individual. I have grown into a leader and will forever be a survivor. I was raised in a single parent home by my mother, whom provided more than ninety-five percent of my needs and wants. My father was present emotionally and financially up until my senior year of high school when he lost his battle with cancer. My siblings played a major role in my life, even though there is an eighteen and a thirteen year gap between me and my two brothers.

While I have accepted the hardships I have had to go through, I am not proud of how I handled them. When I look back, things do not seem as bad as they were, but in the present moment I could not have imagined them worse. Perhaps the most trouble I have with the past is my problems with trust. I have not yet relearned how to trust and have hope in those I surround myself with, and this negatively impacts my ability to develop as I should. At this point, I am working to create a healthy relationship with my past and repair my future, simultaneously.

In the beginning I couldn’t stand my family. After my parents divorce there was constant fighting and I didn’t know if anything would ever return to normal again. Everything changed when Aaron, my soon-to-be stepfather came along. When we first met him both my brother and I thought we were going to hate him. Considering our young age and going through our parents hard divorce we were pretty resistant to change, and we were not about to allow anyone besides our own father to act like one.

My mom who came from the phillipines still to this day has a strong filipino accent, that couldn 't be hidden even if she tried to. It was always crystal clear instructions when she spoke to me because she often spoke in Ilocano. However, although it was easy for me to understand, she still has quite a hard time getting her message across when she tried speaking with others who spoke english well. The gap between the way she spoke and others was a challenge I definetly had to face. You could say I was the mediater between the two.

My family’s past experiences also teach me how to live my life the best way possible. For example, my parents did not finish college, so they were not able to obtain lucrative careers. Not finishing or not even going to college can take a toll on your life. If my parents finished college our life would have been more successful financially. Although my parents did not have the best money,